This week I did one thing that felt probably a bit batshit loopy and stayed, alone, in a treehouse within the woods. I do know. The one that will get spooked in her personal backyard.
It’s testomony to simply how desperately I wanted to take away myself from all noise and distraction (impending deadline that I nonetheless can’t speak about) that I ventured out into the wilds alone, risking potential Blair Witch Undertaking-style situations and with solely a small pair of nail scissors and a laptop computer charging cable (makeshift garrote) for cover. As somebody who barricades their resort door from the within, even when there’s a reception desk two flooring down and a twenty-four hour concierge, I can’t fairly consider that I willingly took myself off to the wilderness.
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However look; I’ve made all of this sound a bit creepy. Clear your minds of the Blair Witch stuff, it was only a little bit of drama for the intro, for this treehouse, one of many Skylark Treehouses at KIP hideaways, was simply one of the crucial phenomenally enjoyable, fantastically secluded locations that I’ve ever stayed. Anyplace.
In case you crave solitude, for those who lengthy for the sound of birdsong and the rustling of the timber, overlook the resort break: two nights right here, with the out of doors bathtub and the on-deck fireplace pit and the key walkway that weaves by means of the woods…two nights right here and it’s as if you’ve had some form of thoughts and soul reset. Three nights and also you overlook that there’s the rest on the market, on the planet. You already know once you simply have completely nothing to do? And there’s nothing you can do? So that you simply turn out to be type of inert, as if you’re working on standby mode slightly than really switched on?
That’s how Skylark made me really feel. And keep in mind, please, that it made me really feel like this regardless of the actual fact I used to be knocking out 4 thousand phrases a day on my laptop computer, mainlining natural tea and solely sometimes getting as much as have a shake and a stretch. In precise truth it was the proper place to plough by means of my wordcount for the deadline-I-can’t-mention-yet as a result of it was simply so utterly, fantastically silent.
And although half of the treehouse was completely open-air, together with an incredible – very photogenic – out of doors kitchen and the aforementioned bathtub and deck, the bed room and bathe room have been absolutely enclosed in a hyper-insulated, hermetically-sealed pod. Enormous home windows in every single place, huge comfortable mattress, however a correct secure little (absolutely lockable) hotel-style room with a kitchenette (tea, espresso, oven) and large walk-in bathe in addition to one of many best-placed bits of loo glazing I’ve seen, excessive up on the wall in order that it framed the timber exterior however retained whole privateness.
On the privateness factor: there are different treehouses (six homes altogether) however they’re fairly far aside. On arrival, my coronary heart did sink once I heard the faint, dulcet tones of another person’s kids (as a result of who needs to listen to different individuals’s kids after they’re attempting to calm down?) however once I leaned proper out to try to spot them and maybe scare them off with an evil glare the treehouse they have been in, my nearest neighbour, was actually fairly distant. The truth is you may inform how distant every one is as a result of the parking areas on the lane, two for every home, are properly spaced-out.
Right here’s the way it goes: you arrive to Skylark Treehouses through the doorway lane after which the parking for every treehouse is signposted with slightly emblem. (They ship you all the data by electronic mail earlier than you arrive.) Every little automotive park has an electrical charging level, which is massively helpful for those who’re an electrical car-haver and need to recharge while you keep. (I’m a brand new electrical car-haver and nonetheless getting used to the truth that you may’t simply pull into any outdated petrol station and replenish; having a charger at your vacation spot simply appears to be the final word, world-changing comfort at this level in my life. Extra thrilling, I believe, than even an out of doors bathtub.)
A non-public walkway takes you down, Swallows and Amazons fashion, to the doorway of your treehouse (which is lockable, and lit) and the door opens onto essentially the most attractive little out of doors camp, excessive up within the timber, completely personal and with a roof over the dwelling bits in order that it may be consistently in use. Once I say camp, that is nothing like tenting; it’s tenting, I suppose, for these (good day!) who love the scent of the outside and like being surrounded by nature however who don’t need to get trench foot and must be inside ten metres of a completely flushing rest room always. It appears like the agricultural treehouse/tenting idyll, although a model of it you’d discover in Vogue, nevertheless it acts like a luxurious resort. All the finest supplies, costly home equipment, a bin with buttons to open and shut (God how simply happy am I?) and that good, show-stopping out of doors tub. With solely the cows within the discipline to witness your soak.
There’s a woodburner contained in the sleeping suite, in addition to radiators, so I’m fairly certain this place could be toasty as something within the wintery months, however in summer time it’s doorways thrown vast open and out of doors fireplace pit on, only for the atmosphere, for those who fancy it. I didn’t, as a result of I used to be there alone and I’m an everlasting catastrophiser and imagined myself unintentionally setting fireplace to my very own hair and never having anybody to assist put it out. Nonetheless, it was good sitting there and listening to the near-silence, as soon as the birds had gone to sleep. With my Brixham Harbour fish pie, one of many ready-to-oven freshly-made meals the individuals at Skylark can ship to your treehouse to your arrival. It was scrumptious. And massively welcome as I’d determined upfront that I didn’t need to must cook dinner, as a result of it could have been simply one other distraction, and so it saved me from consuming muesli for dinner three nights in a row.
So to recap: you need absolute peace and quiet. You need the posh really feel and a focus to element {that a} resort may give, however you need one thing extra secluded and personal. You’re keen on the thought of a camp-style break however need a good mattress, full plumbing and no sense of damp. You need the ever-Instagrammable “bathtub underneath the celebrities” however don’t need to hear one other soul while you lie in it and – lastly – you need to benefit from the open air however really feel secure and safe.
Bingo! I don’t assume anybody would remorse a few nights right here for a complete reset. What I preferred most was their very stern guidelines contract that you simply needed to conform to and signal, promising to not make noise and to respect different visitors. Bloody good. You actually do really feel as if you’re the one visitors there – and it was absolutely booked on the nights that I stayed.
Costs? From £250 per evening. Possibly barely greater than you’d anticipate for those who went “glamping”, however this positively shouldn’t be glamping. It’s a full resort suite that’s utterly personal, with the good thing about a giant out of doors area that can be utilized all yr spherical. (There’s heating above the eating desk and the entire area is considerately lit.) It’s nowhere close to as costly as a luxurious resort suite however that’s what I’d evaluate it to; though the supplies contained in the sealed sleeping space have been left fairly rustic and pure, simply one of many many eco-measures right here, the fixtures and fittings have been of the very best high quality and no expense had been spared.
Had I not stayed alone, I genuinely assume that it could have been troublesome to ever depart. In precise truth, I booked one other evening on the top of my two evening evaluation keep, so I believe that claims all of it. The mad factor was, I didn’t even enterprise out of the treehouse. I couldn’t let you know what was half a mile in any course, even an eighth of a mile. I simply wrote and wrote and wrote. In my escape pod. Which is precisely what it was.
